Wednesday, April 12, 2006
i jus felt tat my life on this earth is a waste.. i have nv felt like this b4.. things hasnt been good between my family and my friends.. for the past two days i have been down.. i duno where or who to talk to.. i jus have to blog this.. i dont care if anyone out there is reading this.. cos i found blogging a waste of time and effort.. no one reads anyway.. recently, i think i have been distancing from my friends.. they are there.. but i jus cant seem to communicate with them.. i no longer see things which they see and they no longer laugh at what i say.. simply, i think we dont click anymore.. this has been bothering me for two days.. am i jus a sidekick or even nt important at all.. nobody seems to be listening to be opinion.. watever i say, they will nt agree.. and when i dont agree on their suggestion, i was forced to follow.. i constantly ask myself.. is this the way i wan to live.. if u look at eric, he may seems like a nobody to u, but he has friends around him.. if they are going out, i bet they will call him first.. me?? no one ever call me out.. when i asked y they nv call me out, all they say was "oh.. i tot u were sleeping.." is this real?? or jus hoping i dont go?? i really duno.. i need an answer.. am i such an extra?? sorry guys.. till i found an answer, i am nt playing soccer.. i jus wan you guys to feel the need for me.. if u can find a keeper then i guess i m really an extra.. if nt, i jus hope u guys can feel tat i m a team player and nt a nobody.. and i jus quarrelled with my family.. i was so moody about my friends and i dont care so much about anything then my bro come and ask me something.. i lazy to reply.. then he started a fuss and should at least give him a reply.. and the fight goes on.. he say whenever he wan to use the internet, i m using and i nv give him.. when he wan to watch tv, i watching.. and my dad kept saying its hard for him to make money and support the family.. this hurts me deeply.. i did nt wan to make him suffer.. who wans ur parents to suffer right?? am i an extra in my house too?? i really cant understand life.. if i didnt come to this world, my bro will be the only child and he can use the internet, watch tv and have everything to himself and doesnt have to share with me.. i really dont see the point in me being here.. haiz.. i have nv been this sad b4.. no one will ever understand me.. nt even my family.. if u say u understand, do u know wats life living in a foreign country and having this problem?? haiz.. i really duno.. well, i know no one is reading this.. so i wont be hoping for an answer.. i wish to find my answer soon.. haiz..
around the world in 80 days
[4/12/2006 11:46:00 PM]